6.27.2011

sustenance.

"the maintaining of someone or something in life or existence"

Well.  No music today (and maybe never on a Monday again!).  Just thoughts.  I am struggling a bit over here.  Struggling to know how to move forward with this business.  Did you know I own a business?  Hmm...that's why I'm rarely "Kristen" when commenting and almost always "homeseed".  But, I feel as though my purpose in starting this blog has been blurred beyond recognition.  Most of the blogs I follow or look at are what I would deem "lifestyle" blogs.  I did (contrary to popular belief and including but not limited to myself) not intend to turn this into one!  But it seems to have crossed many lines and boundaries over time.  Truthfully, I started this to have some sort of web base/connection.  Now, let's be honest: lifestyle blogs sell.  My business isn't really selling.  Not that this blog really is either...Ah!  Getting off topic.  Okay, the point is that I am spending too much time finding content, thinking of content, and composing posts (sounds familiar, huh?).  I am thinking a lot about my business and how to develop it.  I am thinking a lot about how I am hardly offering our family any financial help.  I am thinking about sustenance.  Knowing that truly, it only comes from up above, but also believing that there are things that we are accountable to and for down here (and that I am convicted for my lack of contribution!).  So, I am in a place where I need to be very critical of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  This blog might change a lot in the process.  I'm actually hoping to be here less, in order to let my work grow.  This will probably be hard for me, because I like all you bloggy ladies and have been wanting to break into your circles more and more...I am however realizing more and more that I must figure myself out first (this is one of my greatest chronic struggles).  If you run away or stop "following" then so be it.  And even though I know I'll dislike that very much, I am going to attempt to be content with it.  Truly content.  Thanks for understanding (or not understanding).

So, um...I'll see you around.  I just might look a little different :)

8 comments:

  1. Dear Kristen,

    I just want you to know that I can heartily relate to all that you're expressing here. While you're a couple of steps ahead of me on the blogger/designer track, I know what you're feeling. I'd love to own my own invitation/stationery business. But I struggle with the same issues... will it even provide? Will I get enough clients? Are there already too many people doing this? Will I get bored?

    I've been blogging for a year now, and while it started off as a way to keep my friends and family updated on my semester abroad, it's grown into something much different from that. And my RSS feed full of lifestyle blogs, wedding blogs, and designer's blogs inspires me to blog in that direction. And yet I'm a busy, working student and I don't have to time to blog. I constantly have a list of 12 or so blogs I want to write. By the time I get to blogging about new thrifted finds or recipes or things that have happened, they're out of date! Which just doesn't work in the instant update, social-media/blogging world.

    Anyway, all that to say is that I get you. You're not the only one. It's a struggle, and I'm right here with you. I, for one, love reading your blogs! You're very real and honest, and I appreciate that. I think you bring a range of topics to the table, lovely photos, and I enjoy keeping up with you.

    I'll be praying that God leads you as you seek to be a good steward with your time, to provide, and to honor Him with your work! I pray that He'll provide a way for you to do what you're passionate about and still feel fulfilled and like you're providing sustenance.

    Hugs, girl!
    Andie

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  2. This post really hit home for me as well. There are times that blogging feels empty and less than fulfilling-and there are other times where I feel excited to share and connect with others. I feel the ups and downs of the blogging life are felt by many-thanks heavens people continue to inspire and share bits of their life! I have enjoyed getting to know you via your blog and I hope you find a way to make what you really love work for you.

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  3. Praying for you girl!
    I started my (Miles calls it"our") blog purely with fun intentions and Miles supported that completely but very wisely asked me to not let it consume me. Its so easy to let it get out of hand!! I've definitely toned down on lot of blog reading time and have really started to focus on living my (Miles would say "our" again) life/lives and completely enjoying everything that is in the real world and not on the internet. There is a fine line between the two and I can easily blur it.

    anyways, LOVE YOU!!

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  4. hey kristen, sounds like a tricky situation! i think the last thing we want is for you to be stressed about a blog :) i pray you get some divine creative intervention, with ideas and life-giving excitement! also, enjoy your summer!

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  5. Kristen, I can totally relate. I feel that way a lot. A good friend of mines new years resolution was to "blog less" ... i really want to follow in her footsteps because i feel like i put too much content out there. When I need to only put the ones up that make my heart go pitter patter. We're here!! even if things look differently next time i stop by (;

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  6. ladies....thank you, really. your words and encouragement are so helpful and enlightening! i really appreciate you :)

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  7. gurl...
    you know I'd never unfollow you!
    you're awesome, kristen. and you've done amazing things. and you're just gonna keep on doing them.
    thinking of you. xxcat

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  8. I think you need to allow yourself to not have life all figured out, it takes time! Remember how old I am? It takes time! (I know I said that twice!) Just keep following your bliss, I'm not worried about you at all, you my dear are going to do just fine!

    I'll keep reading if you keep writing, your posts make me smile.

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